Epic Geekness

Hello and, again, welcome to the Aperture Science Question Ignoration Center.

Everyone is busy doing something more important right now, such as playing Minesweeper, so we are afraid we cannot pay attention to you at the moment. Rest assured that a Question Ignoration Expert will see you as soon as they get bored of not paying attention to you.

For those of you suffering from Psychiatric Disorders, please call the Aperture Science Psychiatric Hotline (1-800-CUBES-TALK-TO-ME) and follow these instructions:

* If you are obsessive-compulsive, please press 1 repeatedly.
* If you are co-dependent, please ask someone to help you press 2.
* If you have multiple personalities, please press 3, 4, 5, and 6.
* If you are paranoid-delusional, we know who you are and what you want. Just stay on the line so we can trace the call.
* If you are schizophrenic, listen carefully and a little voice will tell you which number to press. If it doesn’t, feel free to ask your Companion Cube about it.
* If you are manic-depressive, it doesn’t matter which number you press. No one will answer.
* If you suffer from low self esteem, please hang up and do not call ever again. All of our agents are currently busy picking up calls from people who are a lot more important than you. And even if they weren’t busy, they’d probably rather doing other stuff instead. Such as watching TV. And we would allow them to neglect your call. Because you are expendable. Insignificant.

Thanks in advance for calling!

Those of you who do not suffer from Psychiatric Disorders, please submit your questions here so they can virtually rot unanswered in the appropriate place.

We look forward because looking backwards hurts our necks!